Why Being "Normal" is a Myth!

The Myth of Normal
A guest post by Malinda Fugate

“I am not enough.” How often that phrase runs through our minds and pierces our hearts! 

It fits a variety of circumstances—not thin enough, not rich enough, not achieving enough, not happy enough, not stylish enough, not active enough, not smart enough—you know exactly how this goes. Disguised as a driving force propelling us to self-improvement, the tendency to compare ourselves to others in order to assess ourselves somehow only leaves us feeling discouraged.

“Normal” is a standard of measurement that strangely entices us. We look at what everyone else is wearing, watching, saying, eating, and doing. Then, we follow the pattern to fit in, not miss out, or make sure we’re doing what we should. Yet, when we start to really examine normal, we find that it doesn’t exist. It’s an imaginary set of ideals we’ve assembled in our minds as a tool to judge ourselves, often harshly and unfairly. It rarely encourages us and actually causes us to miss something extremely important: God’s goodness.

It happens easily. We see the people around us and look for trends. Our vision is distorted by what’s amplified in advertisements, on television or in movies, what we read, and the highlights we see on social media and around the internet. But a deep dive into each of these sources reveals that they aren’t reliable at all, because they aren’t accurately portraying reality.

They are telling a story, trying to sell something, or projecting a preferred ideal while covering up things that seem less desirable to share. If our standard of measurement is so inaccurate, how can we even confidently define normalcy at all? In fact, once we begin to thoroughly examine the real lives of the real people around us, truth begins to look very different.

The comparison game was not how we were designed. Psalm 139:14 famously tells us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” We were given a colorful variety of gifts and circumstances for a reason.

In 1 Corinthians 12:12-27, Paul illustrates this point with a look at the human body. If the whole body were an eye, for example, how would it hear? Each individual part was created uniquely and with purpose. It isn’t sameness that causes each organ and limb to belong. It’s the special qualities that no other part can provide that make them crucial and included. So it is with us. Like a puzzle, we are all different pieces that fit together to make a whole, belonging together in community. We were never intended for sameness, so why do we keep striving for it?

Worse yet, this quest for normalcy invites discouragement when we inevitably don’t meet the mythical standards we perceive through comparison. Discouragement is also not part of God’s design for us. He wants us to live in the His joy! Scripture is full of encouragement, ensuring that God is always with us, is close to the broken hearted, provides gladness in place of mourning, and fills us with His hope. When we tolerate the discouragement that comes with falling short of “normalcy,” it’s unnecessary and disheartening. We can kick that to the curb as we cling to the light of God’s love!

Instead, we shift our gaze away from the myth of perceived normal and place our eyes on Jesus Christ’s reality. First, let’s embrace who we are, where we are, and how we are. May we celebrate our circumstances instead of constantly criticizing them.

Let’s trust that God is growing and maturing us, changing what is necessary while we follow Him step by step. We’re not talking about accepting sinfulness here, but contentment in God’s design. We can recognize that we were never meant to be the same as others, and, truthfully, others are also unique and different. Sameness was an illusion all along. When we embrace the way God made us and where He placed us, we can also embrace the people in our lives for who they truly are. This is heartfelt inclusivity and belonging.

Next, we must delight in our differences and seek their purposes. Ephesians 2:10 says that we are God’s handiwork, created specifically to do the good works that God prepared for us. Often the messes we find ourselves in our what the Lord uses to help us grow and love other people. Everything, from our talents to our struggles, has value with Him. The very thing that is so difficult for us now is often what others find relatable and helpful as they struggle, too.

Finally, we talk to God. Communicating how we feel when we are discouraged and asking for a glimpse of the Lord’s perspective is how we grow closer to Him as we begin to understand and accept ourselves. If we can see ourselves through His eyes, we understand true beauty.

When we see God’s hand in our life’s journey, we realize how attentive He is to detail and how He’s working things out for our good. And when we start to see people with God’s vision instead of through our previous filters of insecurity, we begin to love more like Christ and demonstrate true belonging.

Our hearts will be so full of love that there will be no more room for discouragement. We will toss away the myth of normal and rejoice in the unique journey we are taking with Him.

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Author Bio:

Malinda Fugate serves as the Children's Education Director at a Southern California church and writes for God’s children of all ages.

Her recent book, The Other Three Sixteens, explores the reality of God’s love in our lives today.

She also created a children’s devotional, Bible Time for Active Kids, full of biblically-based activities to bring kids closer to the Lord.

Her passion is connecting people with God in tangible ways.

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Connect with Malinda:
Website: www.malindafugate.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/malthestar
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/malthewriter/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/malthewriter

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Note from Alexis: Malinda’s message reminds me of the song “Pieces” by Meredith Andrews! Listen to it here.

Sharing Our Stories: Waiting on our deliverer

The Deliverer
A guest post by Dr. Angelle M. Jones

“Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked."

–Psalm 82:3-4 (NIV)

The scripture above calls for the weak, the fatherless, the poor, oppressed and needy to be delivered from the hand of wicked oppressors. Although the psalmist knew that God could deliver, he also knew that God often uses those in authority to deliver.

Thousands of years later, God’s cry for deliverance continues. The question is, who will answer?

In the case of enslaved Africans, this cry was heard by a group of Christians called Abolitionists. It would be understandable that slaves couldn’t imagine there being one White person genuinely reflecting the tenets of the Christian faith. All the slaves could probably envision were their masters with a whip in one hand and a Bible in another. Could it be that any would be willing to take an interest in delivering the enslaved? Could it be that there might be one White person, much less more than one, willing to risk their reputation to set slaves free? As the psalmist cried out in behalf of the oppressed, would there not be one who would do the same for the slaves?

The Quakers heard the voice of the Lord. In response, they were very instrumental in becoming anti-slavery activists. They clearly understood that slavery as it existed in the minds of the oppressor, was not the heart of God. Because of their stance against slavery, they stood on scriptures such as Genesis 1:27 that says humankind was created in the Imago Dei (the image of God). They believed if everyone was created in God’s image, then everyone – including slaves –had the same right to be free.

In the year 1754, the British Quakers led the way in starting to dismantle the prevailing attitudes toward the slave trade and the institution of slavery. After several years of changing thought instituted by the power of the gospel, British and American theologians worked to abolish slavery. The power of the Gospel was evident during what was called the Great Awakening. In a time when Christians were complacently building wealth from the owning of slaves, God brought revival to the hearts of many. History has it that during this time, more and more White Christians began to embrace the belief that it was a sin to purchase or own slaves.

As the southern White Christians used their authority to initiate and organize the movement, the Abolitionists became the modern-day answer to the psalmist’s cry for God’s people to be a delivering people in Psalm 82. In southern states where slavery was clearly accepted as the norm by most White people, there were those whose views were slowly transforming.

As some began openly opposing slavery, many of them lost position and privileges in society. Privileged because of the color of their skin, for thirty years these White men and women answered God’s call to sacrifice their own lives to deliver the oppressed. A White and Black brigade! They were brave, bold and resilient. Hidden from the slave masters, the White Abolitionists became the secret friends of slaves escaping to freedom on foot from the South to the North. With an intersection of bravery and unwavering faith, an estimated 100,000 slaves escaped on the path to freedom called the Underground Railroad.

Following a God-inspired pathway of routes while moving on foot, slaves journeyed through the woods, dangerous hidden roads, waded across rivers and swamps. They also hid in covered wagons, homes, church buildings and businesses often operated by the Abolitionists. Sometimes they rode on horses at night to reach the shore where they were loaded onto boats, crossing over into the promised land of the northern states. Only by the divine guidance of the Holy Spirit, the Underground Railroad was woven together by Christian Abolitionists who helped to create this divinely orchestrated path of deliverance. Although not all safely escaped, by God’s grace, many survived to tell of their victorious journeys from slavery to freedom.

The presumption might be that because of the resources needed to help with such an undertaking, only wealthy White men or only those in the dominate culture could take part in the movement against slavery. On the other hand, because of the socio-economic implications, others could not understand why any White person would take the risk of participating in the costly movement against slavery.

I believe as with today’s White ally anti-racist movement, the beauty of the Abolitionist movement was the assembling together of Black and White Christians who willingly sacrificed their lives while portraying the very similar role of the anti-slavery activists. It was through this movement that White people and Black people learned how to step across the invisible, socially constructed racialized lines drawn to keep them separate.

As the Abolitionist movement continued to grow, it took a willingness in the heart of God’s people to allow the transformative work of the Holy Spirit to break the invisible barriers dividing them. These barriers had separated them for almost a century. Even though I am sure there were always those individuals who felt slavery was wrong, because the institution was so deeply embedded in their hearts and so ingrained in the foundation of American capitalism, it was difficult to let go of the ideology. This made the work of the Abolitionists even more profound as Black people and White people worked together tirelessly to end an institution that fed the economy the way slavery did. I often refer to the Abolitionist movement as a depiction of today’s ideal model of the multicultural church.

Historically just as scripture was used to justify slavery, the Abolitionist’s written materials were laced with the teachings of Jesus to call for the deliverance of slaves. As the Holy Spirit-led writers declared the truth written in the Torah, God’s Word always has, and always will deliver.

Let’s Pray: Lord, may we your people defend the weak and fatherless, may we uphold justice for the poor and may we deliver the oppressed. In Jesus’s Name I pray. Amen.

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Author Bio:

“Inspiring and Motivating With the Power of Words”  

Dr. Angelle M. Jones believes that the power of words inspires, and motivate to bring about transformative change individually and collectively.

Angelle originally hails from Cleveland, Ohio. She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in African-American studies from the University of Cincinnati. Angelle has a master’s degree in Theological Studies from Columbia Theological Seminary in Atlanta, Georgia and an earned Doctorate in Ministry on the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, and his philosophy of The Beloved Community from United Theological Seminary in Dayton, Ohio.

Her ministry career began as a staff member of the Northeastern Ohio Billy Graham Crusade in 1994. For twenty years, as founder and director of In The Spirit Ministries, Inc., she led teams on mission outreaches throughout the world. From 2007-2012, Angelle served as Missions Director of New Salem Missionary Baptist Church in Columbus, Ohio where she currently resides. Angelle is founder and director of GlobaLife Coaching and Consulting serving as a Life and Transformation Coach and Church Consultant.

In 2016, Angelle authored and self-published her first book, Happily Never After. Along with sharing words of hope by sharing her writings on her social media platforms, she has been published in Vantage Magazine which is a literary source for faculty, students and alumni of Columbia Theological Seminary, and Ready, which is a cutting-edge online magazine addressing current events and trending socially relevant topics for women.

Angelle is the mother of an adult daughter. She is a grandmother and great-grandmother.

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Connect with Dr. Angelle:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/angelle.m.jones.5
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abundantgrace1/
Email: globalifeconsultants@gmail.com