Sharing Our Stories: Perspective

This Hour’s Perspective
A guest post written by Stephanie Bankhead

Violence, disunity and death pervade the hour we are in. When this hour is over, what do I want to be able to say my posture was? When I look back in 10 years from now, 20 years — or even when I’m gone from here and living in the next life looking back — what do I want to be able to say about how I handled myself?

If the past eighteen months was the final answer, I would have to say that I was anxious and distracted. I allowed the madness of the world be the loudest voice in my heart and mind. But I do not want that to be my story.

One of the most eye-opening situations has been my inability to keep my focus on the Lord. Prior to March 2020, I would have told you that my relationship with God was deep, full and meaningful. I would have told you that I trusted God and followed closely to Jesus and His teaching. Along came 2020.

Fear became the dominant emotion and anxiety followed closely as well. I was surprised at how I was reacting to the situation. The old me would have said I wanted a “do-over,” but NO WAY do I want to experience any of this all over again.

Over a year later, my faith still feels terribly shallow. My thoughts are scattered. I can’t seem to go more than 15 minutes without getting on Facebook or checking my news app. Why? In complete candor, I really don’t know. Speculation swirls in my mind. The unknown is scary. Remember the old saying, “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know?” Maybe that is my underlying reason. Do I think that if I know all the facts that I won’t be as scared? If that’s the case, it’s not true. The facts scare me.

So where is God in all this? My relationship with Him feels like a miles long river that is only a few inches deep.

Deeper.

My heart’s desire is to be deeper with God. To know and love Him with all my heart. To be sold out for Jesus and His way. In a recent Bible study, it was mentioned that during first century Israel the disciple of a rabbi would be expected to follow the rabbi everywhere he went. The idea was to follow so closely the dust from the rabbi’s shoes would get all over the disciple.

That is exactly how I want my life to be defined, by the dust of Jesus’ shoes. How does that happen?

First of all, the noise has to be stopped. I have taken breaks from social media, and certainly from the news. That has helped. I’m also making exercise and sleep a priority. I found an app that reads bedtime stories to me while I drift off to sleep. And I’m keeping this one verse at the forefront of my mind.

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”— Matthew 6:33 (NLT)

There’s my answer. This Bible verse (Matthew 6:33) unequivocally answers my questions.

Seek God first and above everything else. Trust God to handle the rest.

~*~
Author Bio:

Stephanie Bankhead is a Bible teacher, mentor and author of several Bible studies. She has worked at a local church as the Women’s Ministry Leader since 2013. 

In 2018, she became an ordained Teaching Pastor. Before that, she worked as the director of a very successful youth volleyball club.

What both of these experiences taught her is that women are still little girls inside. Deep down we are all still asking the same questions, “Am I capable? Am I attractive? Am I enough?”

Stephanie delivers sermons and speaks at women’s events on a multitude of topics. Her favorite topic is teaching people what the Bible says about their own identity in God.

Stephanie lives in Amarillo, Texas with her husband of 32 years. They have a rescue pup who barks too much, and a bird abandoned when her two grown children flew the nest. Her four grandchildren are the apples of her eye.

Sharing Our Stories: My heart's cry

A Cry of Lament
A guest post written by Stephanie Bankhead

These past several weeks have been exceptionally difficult. It is easy to read the news and allow frustration and grief to settle in like a rock sinking to the bottom of a pond.

To make matters worse, I have had several very tense conversations with White friends. I want so badly for them to understand and acknowledge the cry of our fellow humans of color. But I walk away from those conversations feeling like the road ahead is steep and rocky. It feels monumental.

In an effort to deal with all the mixed emotions that have plagued me lately, I have written this cry of lament. I’m sharing it with you in hopes that it will help you too. That God’s love will settle over you and bring a peace that passes understanding.

This is my cry…

O Most High and Holy God,

There is a chasm wider than any canyon on earth between Your children this day.

We are so self-absorbed and self-protective that we can’t see our fellow humans

for the beautiful images of You that they are.

We are angry and always ready for a fight.

We are killing and maiming each other literally and figuratively.

Even though Your Word clearly tells us that there is no distinction of hierarchy in Your Kingdom,

we classify and label in order to elevate ourselves to higher status.

We stand in pride, refusing to see our brothers and sisters who are hurting and in pain.

Because acknowledging their pain and oppression would be admitting that we have done wrong.

Lord God, we need You.

We need You to change hearts and mindsets.

Help us to be gentle in our conversations with those who aren’t ready to hear and to ask more questions than to argue.

Give us a heart of humility and repentance. We have done wrong.

We have sinned against you and against our fellow human beings.

Please let our convictions show through our words and actions.

We need Your Holy Spirit to bring peace and open our eyes.

You, Lord Jesus, went around doing good when you walked on this dusty earth two thousand years ago.

Empower us to do good too. We want to be like You.

You are the lifter of the oppressed. You set captives free.

Jesus, You are our freedom. Your death and resurrection has saved us and set us free.

We want to live like we believe that with all our hearts.

No matter the crazy circumstances of the world, we trust You, God.

We put our hope in You. You saved us before and You will save us once again.

We will shout with joy the new song of freedom and love that You have put in our mouths.

We will sing of Your goodness and mercy all of our days.

Your grace is sufficient.

And we thank You. 

In Jesus’s Name I pray.

Amen.

~*~
Author Bio:

Stephanie Bankhead is a Bible teacher, mentor and author of several Bible studies. She has worked at a local church as the Women’s Ministry Leader since 2013. In 2018, she became an ordained Teaching Pastor. Before that, she worked as the director of a very successful youth volleyball club.

What both of these experiences taught her is that women are still little girls inside. Deep down we are all still asking the same questions, “Am I capable? Am I attractive? Am I enough?”

Stephanie delivers sermons and speaks at women’s events on a multitude of topics. Her favorite topic is teaching people what the Bible says about their own identity in God.

Stephanie lives in Amarillo, Texas with her husband of 32 years. They have a rescue pup who barks too much, and a bird abandoned when her two grown children flew the nest. Her four grandchildren are the apples of her eye.

Sharing Our Stories: A Life Lesson on Adversity

Strength in Adversity
A devotional written by Stephanie Bankhead

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” – James 1:2-4 (ESV)

“How long does this go on, God? Will it never end?”

Does this prayer sound familiar? If you are breathing then you have probably whispered this about the pandemic. For many years during any struggle or trial, this was my prayer. I wanted God to sweep in like a knight in shining armor and remove whatever it was causing suffering or trouble. And I won’t lie, there has been a time or two during this pandemic I’ve asked God to please remove the suffering.

I recently had a conversation with a young, Hispanic woman who is my friend. I asked her what it was like growing up as a Hispanic female in our city in Texas. She shared what I had suspected—stories of racism and sexism: being judged and shamed for being a teenage mom, having two years of fast food experience and still getting hired for a new job at a lower rate than her male friend who had no experience, being called racial slurs by men in places like parking lots and grocery stores for no reason.

What surprised me was her response when I asked her if there was anything that she would change about her circumstances growing up. She confidently stated she would not change a thing because all these situations have made her who she is today. When I asked her what she would change for her own daughter, she simply replied that she would have people treat each other with kindness rather than division and hatred.

I went home that day thinking about her comment about how the adversity made her who she is today. There is wisdom in her words. When I look back on times when my relationship with and faith in God has grown, they’ve all been times of adversity. Having a prodigal child will drive you to your knees at the feet of Jesus like not much else will.

I’ve come to believe that God has a different, higher perspective of adversity. In the book of James in the Bible, He says to count it all joy. And that trials produce steadfastness that leads to us being complete. I do long to be complete. I still don’t long for adversity, but I don’t shy away from it anymore either. If that is what God uses to bring us closer to Him, then let it be.

The next time you find yourself praying the “Will this never end, God?” prayer, I want to encourage you to stop and instead ask Him what He is trying to teach you through the situation. And for the courage and strength to keep your eyes fixed on who He ultimately is helping you to become.

Let’s Pray: Lord, Your love is steadfast and sure. Thank you for loving me enough to help me walk through the adversity in my life with Your power and strength. Help me to see what You’re trying to teach me in this and to come out of the other side a person of greater faith and more fruit for Your Kingdom. I ask this in the Mighty Name of Jesus! Amen.

~*~
Author Bio:

Stephanie Bankhead is a Bible teacher, mentor and author of several Bible studies. She has worked at a local church as the Women’s Ministry Leader since 2013. In 2018, she became an ordained Teaching Pastor. Before that, she worked as the director of a very successful youth volleyball club. 

What both of these experiences taught her is that women are still little girls inside. Deep down we are all still asking the same questions, “Am I capable? Am I attractive? Am I enough?”

Stephanie delivers sermons and speaks at women’s events on a multitude of topics. Her favorite topic is teaching people what the Bible says about their own identity in God.

Stephanie lives in Amarillo, Texas with her husband of 32 years. They have a rescue pup who barks too much, and a bird abandoned when her two grown children flew the nest. Her four grandchildren are the apples of her eye.

Sharing Our Stories: The Looking Glass

Into the Looking Glass
A guest post by Stephanie Bankhead

For the most of my 56 years on this earth, I looked in the mirror and saw “not enough” staring back at me. If you had asked, I would have not said that I had a self-esteem issue. Confidence in myself wasn’t the problem. There were plenty of opportunities in life to have success and I have had my fair share. But 2020 was a year of vision for me. Clarity.

It started with the revelation that my faith in God wasn’t the strong foundation that I had believed. How had the assumption crept in that faith equaled a checklist of items that included time spent in the Bible and discipling others? Faith equated to service, to works…performance. I was an ordained pastor, after all. I had to have faith or why would I be doing what I was doing? Enter early 2020 that was filled with the pandemic, racial tensions and fear. Intense fear and anxiety over the unknown and the unfair. Why was I feeling so anxious? Where was my faith? I chided myself over and over daily. I’m sure you can guess how well that worked out.

Transformative changes do not happen through coercion or chastisement.

And so begins my transformation over the year of 2020. I discovered that seeing myself as “not enough” had consequences. If my remorseful failings disappointed me, there was no imagining how God felt about me. Imagine a lightbulb appearing over my head when the realization hit me. Because of always feeling like a failure, my view of God was as a harsh taskmaster or a disappointed boss. Either way, that is an unfair view and not at all accurate. I was gazing at myself and perceiving not enough, disappointment, failure…and merely glancing at God. With a fresh determination, I put on blinders to gaze with length and adoration at my God.

I treasure time in the Bible, seeking for God in every reading. Kristi McLelland, author of the Bible study titled, Jesus and Women, revealed an interesting fact that relates to my story. Are you familiar with the story that we in the western church call “The Prodigal Son?” In the Jewish Messianic Bible, that story title is “The Running Father.” When I am gazing at myself and merely glancing at God, my focus is on the son. When I am gazing at my amazing Father, my focus is on the running, merciful father in the story.

This new perspective also made me realize my inability to receive love or kindness from my husband. I was forever shrugging off his kind words as obligatory. I now know that they were also filtered through my self-perception. My deepest heart’s desire is to feel love and to know God in a way that is truer and deeper than anything I’ve experienced so far. What was holding me back? My own perception of myself.

Once this truth revealed itself and there was a knowing inside of me, I felt different somehow. The verse from 2 Corinthians 5:17 was more authentic than it had ever been. It reads, “So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!” (2 Corinthians 5:17 NRSV)

In the past, this verse had been for those who receive Christ as their Savior for the first time. That makes me laugh. Because God is not like that. And for as long as I’ve been studying His Word (the Holy Bible), you would think I would already have known that. This is why we know the Word of God is living and active (Hebrews 4:12). God sneaks in with a verse we see as familiar and transforms us in a stunning manner.

Today I’m a new creation. Free. Free to be me! Free to be loved. This new perception of myself has ushered in a playfulness. It fosters a positive atmosphere in our home. The greatest fruit is how it lightens the heaviness that was prevalent in this past year. It’s been one difficult year and any little change helps. This change for me is momentous.

Let me ask you this question: Are you walking around saying you are a follower of Jesus Christ but you see God as a harsh taskmaster or a boss who is never satisfied? I now understand that until each of us can see God for who He really is — His characteristics that we read and learn about in Scripture — we won’t have the fundamental ability to truly love others. How will we overcome racial tensions in this country and world? How will we overcome the oppression of women in this world? How will overcome the division and hatred that seems to be pervasive?

The answer is simple: Change our gaze. Stop gazing at the monumental problems and start gazing at our amazing God. Gazing at His beauty. Gazing at His characteristics. Discovering who He assuredly is in character, personality, and action.

Let us remember this Bible verse: Psalm 27:4 (ESV) says, “One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple.”

Next time you look in the mirror, see the beloved of God, fashioned in His image. And then let’s turn to our neighbors and love them. Let’s see our neighbors and ourselves as image bearers of the creative God who gives us life and breath.

In closing, will you pray with me?

Almighty God, we praise and worship You as our Creator. Thank you that we are fearfully and wonderfully made in Your image. It is our heart’s desire to know You more. Help us to see ourselves and our neighbors through Your eyes. And help us to keep our eyes set firmly on You, gazing on your majesty and glory! I pray this in the mighty name of Jesus, our Savior. Amen.

~*~
Author Bio:

Stephanie Bankhead is a Bible teacher, mentor and author of several Bible studies.

  

Stephanie has worked at a local church as the Women’s Ministry Leader since 2013. In 2018, she became an ordained teaching Pastor. Before that, she worked as the director of a very successful youth volleyball club. What both of these experiences taught her is that women are still little girls inside. Deep down we are all still asking the same questions, “Am I capable? Am I attractive? Am I enough?”

Stephanie delivers sermons and speaks at women’s events on a multitude of topics. Her favorite topic is teaching people what the Bible says about their own identity in God.

Stephanie lives in Amarillo, Texas with her husband of 32 years. They have a rescue pup who barks too much, and a bird abandoned when her two grown children flew the nest. Her four grandchildren are the apples of her eye.

Sharing Our Stories: A Call to Repentance

Shared Responsibility and Repentance
A devotional by Stephanie Bankhead

“I prayed to the LORD my God and made confession, saying, “O Lord, the great and awesome God, who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, we have sinned and done wrong and acted wickedly and rebelled, turning aside from your commandments and rules.” 

– Daniel 9:4-5 (ESV)

My ancestors emigrated from Italy to the United States. I am a fourth generation American on both sides of my family. They earned a living farming in northeastern Colorado. 

My ancestors knew what it was like to be the brunt of prejudice. In the early 1900’s it was not unusual for Italians to hear mocking ethnic slurs like "wop" and "dago." To my knowledge, we never owned slaves.

Blindly, I believed that I had nothing to apologize for relating to racial tension. My relatives didn't take part in the Atlantic slave trade nor the owning of slaves. Why should I apologize? 

Recently I was reading the book of Deuteronomy. In chapter 31, Moses is telling the people that he knows how rebellious and stubborn they are. Reading that my thoughts jump to, “Hey that's not fair! It was their ancestors who did those things, not this group of people. All those complainers from the exodus are all dead, this is a brand new generation.”

That was the beginning of the collapse of my alleged innocence. Pouring through the Scriptures, it became obvious that God demands we take responsibility for national sin. There are many examples of similar situations like we read in the Bible books of Daniel and Deuteronomy.

We in America have sinned. We have not acknowledged nor admitted that we have and continue to place people in positions of status and importance. And as long as we are the ones on the winning end of the balance, we refuse to see the sin. As Christians, how can we read Paul's letter to the Galatian Church and allow this sin to continue?

God’s Word (The Holy Bible) says in Galatians 3:28 (ESV),“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

God's Word ushers in conviction and I know in my heart this is true. So what is my next right move? Where can I start?

I'm perusing books, watching movies, reading novels about and by the Black community to gain their perspective. I want to understand. And I desire the dismantling of the heinous crime of oppression.

I also apologize to my dear friend, a woman of color, for the struggles that she and her ancestors and her children have had to navigate. Admitting that I have disregarded the white privilege that epitomizes my life. Offering my time weekly to listen and gain an understanding of her life as a Black woman. My plan is to do more of this, to increase our meeting to add more people. It is my belief that as we get to know each other’s stories, our empathy and love toward one another will grow.

Now, like Daniel, my heart asks of the Lord forgiveness for our nation's sin of oppression. I include myself. We have plundered our brothers and sisters of color. We categorize people by social status and power. We are not at all living Paul's admonition in Galatians 3:28.

Imagine a world where all God's children were flourishing. No oppression. No hatred. No privilege for one people to the detriment of another. We can have hope for that world. God wants us to see with our eyes. We must look into the eyes of Black people and see the pain of their ancestors residing in their souls. 

God wants us to understand with our hearts that He loves all people. He created everyone in His own image (Genesis 1:26-27) God wants us to turn, repent from our previous sin of oppression and hatred. And He will heal us. (Isaiah 6:10; John 12:40)

Let’s pray: O Lord, the great and awesome God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, we have sinned and done wrong and acted wickedly and rebelled, turning aside from your commandments and rules. Heal our nation. In Jesus’s Name we pray, Amen!

~*~
Author Bio:

Stephanie Bankhead is a Bible teacher, mentor and author of several Bible studies. 

Stephanie has worked at a local church as the Women’s Ministry Leader since 2013. In 2018 she became an ordained Teaching Pastor. Before that, she worked as the director of a very successful youth volleyball club. 

What both of these experiences taught her is that women are still little girls inside. Deep down we are all still asking the same questions, “Am I capable? Am I attractive? Am I enough?”

Stephanie delivers sermons and speaks at women’s events on a multitude of topics. Her favorite topic is teaching people what the Bible says about their own identity in God.

Stephanie lives in Amarillo, Texas with her husband of 32 years. They have a rescue pup who barks too much, and a bird abandoned when her two grown children flew the nest. Her four grandchildren are the apples of her eye.

Sharing Our Stories: Introducing Stephanie Bankhead, one of the backup writers!

Introducing Stephanie Bankhead, in her words:

“Then God said, “Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness...” So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” 

–Genesis 1:26–27 (NRSV)

We (humankind) are created in the image of God. 

What does that mean in our everyday lives and do we all consider this truthful? How do we walk this out? The Word of God has proven over the years to be absolute truth to me. It is my firm belief that every person walking on this planet God shaped in His own image. Because of that, there is a dignity endowed every person.

It is not enough to know about the oppression and atrocities waged against Black people. We all need to jump into the journey with them. We need to repent of the sins of our ancestors, the white Europeans. Let's come beside them and lament on their behalf.

A few years ago I would have told you that my ancestors were from Italy. We had nothing to do with the slave trade or mistreatment of Black people. The funny thing is, every time I read the Bible, it ends up "reading me." At the end of Deuteronomy, before Moses died, he admonishes the people for the sin they committed against God upon leaving Egypt. The specific sins he refers to are actually sins their parents committed. He was holding them accountable for the sins of their ancestors. This is not an isolated incident in Scripture. Both in Ezra and Daniel, the prophets offer a prayer of repentance for the sins of the people. Sins that they did not commit.

I'm taking their lead. While meeting weekly with my friend, Andrea, I am repenting of the sins of my European fathers. We are having the hard conversations. She is sharing from her experience as a Black woman in America. And I am sharing from mine as a White European woman. We are dreaming for a better, more fair future for her children and grandchildren.

My hope is that through my experience and recent revelation other White sisters wake up to the injustice that is going on under our noses. Relationships are key to healing. When you know a person’s story, empathy can happen. Our plan is to invite others into our small group to continue the hard conversations. Our goal is to forge relationships that bring about the love of God into this world in a bigger way.

Wouldn't it be amazing for our story to inspire others to begin small group relationships with a diverse group of people and for this Christ-like love to spread like wildfire? We have adopted the motto, "Who is your one today?" The plan is to influence and love one person each day. And to invite them into this journey of change. 

So, who is YOUR one today? It all starts with only one.

~*~
Author Bio:

Stephanie Bankhead is a Bible teacher, mentor and author of several Bible studies. 

Stephanie has worked at a local church as the Women’s Ministry Leader since 2013. In 2018 she became an ordained teaching Pastor. Before that, she worked as the director of a very successful youth volleyball club. What both of these experiences taught her is that women are still little girls inside. Deep down we are all still asking the same questions, “Am I capable? Am I attractive? Am I enough?”

Stephanie delivers sermons and speaks at women’s events on a multitude of topics. Her favorite topic is teaching people what the Bible says about their own identity in God. 

Stephanie lives in Amarillo, Texas with her husband of 32 years. They have a rescue pup who barks too much, and a bird abandoned when her two grown children flew the nest. Her four grandchildren are the apples of her eye.