Sharing Our Stories: Why we need to lament

A Call to Lament
A guest post by Kristen Terrette

Lament.

It’s a word I rarely used until about a year ago.

To lament means to passionately express grief or sorrow and, in my opinion, to go a step further in our repentance. When we repent, we feel sincere regret or remorse about our wrongdoing or sin and turn away from it. But lamenting brings a physical element to this sorrow, this guilt, this the feeling of shame. When we see people lament in the Bible, there’s an action to it. There is weeping. There is crying out. There is fervent prayer.

I use this word regularly of late. I’ve long thought slavery and the Trail of Tears, treating humans as property and “savages”, was sinful, shameful, and disgraceful. And in truth, there aren’t many Americans who don’t feel this way. But we’ve got a long way to go in lamenting and repenting for the hundreds of years of sin our country (USA) that our White ancestors were a part of.

When I look at our nation and finally truly see its sinful past against BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color) groups, and its effects happening even today, I lament my role in perpetuating it.

And what baffles me is the push back from White Christians over lamenting our sinful past. This very idea causes many White people to react in offense and shock because they feel that they do not need to lament something they weren’t a part of.

But I believe that’s simply not true and impossible.

Since the beginning of history, ethnic groups have been conquered, their lands taken, plundered, and their people were placed under the rule of the conqueror. Sometimes the conquerors destroyed those they deemed “unworthy” so completely that entire villages, towns, even nations were wiped out forever. And, sadly, it is a historical fact that this cycle happened to the Indigenous people in the United States. They were conquered in horrendous ways. Oftentimes, by White Christians.

And then there is the history of slavery in our nation.

With the Transatlantic Slave Trade, individuals were kidnapped and trafficked. We talk a lot about the current trafficking atrocities in the world. We’re passionate about ending this sin against humanity. But why does the same passion seem to be now politically incorrect when describing the Transatlantic Slave Trade in our own country, by calling it what it really was—a people group trafficked by White Christians?

Innocent men, women, and children were kidnapped, abused, murdered, raped, chained, torn apart from their families, forced into labor, their human dignity stripped, and placed in situations totally out of their control.

Some people may say that they never had slaves, but we live in a country whose thriving economy and very existence was built on human trafficking.

You may say your ancestors came to America for a new life after the abolition of slavery (as some of mine did). But your family, and mine, profit from an economy that was established through the forceful enslavement of human beings.

What is stopping us from seeing and admitting our past? From being willing to lament? Why are White Christians not leading this charge by the hundreds of thousands?

Blindness.

Blinded by the enemy and blind to the devil’s generational curse on us.

I lament this. I cry over this. I tell God I’m so sorry my country hurt Him and His beloved so badly. I tell Him we have sinned against Him and to please forgive us.

Daniel is an excellent example of the power of personal and national lamenting. According to Daniel 9:4-5 (NLT), he said: I prayed to the Lord my God and confessed: “O Lord, you are a great and awesome God! You always fulfill your covenant and keep your promises of unfailing love to those who love you and obey your commands. But we have sinned and done wrong. We have rebelled against you and scorned your commands and regulations.”

And later in Daniel 9:16 (NLT), he pleads for God to turn His anger away again. The verse reads, “In view of all your faithful mercies, Lord, please turn your furious anger away from your city Jerusalem, your holy mountain. All the neighboring nations mock Jerusalem and your people because of our sins and the sins of our ancestors.”

Daniel was a great and godly man. He likely did not personally sin against God in this way, but he prays and laments anyway. He was not alive when his people (his ancestors before him), sinned against God, yet he prayed and lamented anyway.

I want to follow Daniel’s example. I want to break the curse of blindness over our nation’s sins. I don’t want to be the source of any more abuse to people of color. I want to make a difference, taking strides to make things right for those who have been hurt.

This is my plea for all of us. That we pray and seek God, read and inform ourselves, and not only from people who are like us. That we seek to be informed with an open mind and spirit of love. That we are brave and open to change. That we are bold in tearing any veil the enemy has over our eyes.

Lament. Let us begin to use this word freely and sincerely. Amen.

~*~
Author Bio:

Kristen's passionate about storytelling and helping people take their next steps in their relationship with Jesus.

She lives forty-five minutes outside of Atlanta, GA, where she served as a Children's Ministry Director for many years. With the support of her husband and two children, she now stays home writing fiction and non-fiction.

She also serves on the women’s leadership team at her local church and writes for Crosswalk and Wholly Loved Ministries. You can check out her articles and novels at www.kristenterrette.com.

~*~
Connect with Kristen:
Website - www.kristenterrette.com
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/authorkristenterrette/
Twitter - https://twitter.com/KTerrette
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kterrette/
Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/16252020.Kristen_Terrette
BookBub - https://www.bookbub.com/profile/kristen-terrette
Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/kterrette2/

Sharing Our Stories: Challenging the status quo

Challenging the Status Quo: Going Against Our Elders
A guest post by Kristen Terrette

Spiritual Elders. We all have them. They may be our church leaders or mentors. Or grandparents. Or parents. Or even our friends’ parents. 

Really, what I consider an elder is anyone with earned respect through evidence of wisdom and spiritual maturity. It’s a position garnered through life experience, and it warrants a level of reverence and humility in the mentee. It’s a place, even if figuratively, of honor.

But what happens when an elder lets you down? Are we, as the underling, allowed to combat them? Do we speak up about the injustice? Or are we supposed to halt our mouths?

I’ve been dealing with this struggle a lot lately when it comes to the tension amongst whites and black or brown people. It seems the moment you agree to take a stand and do your part in fighting racial injustice of any kind, the devil comes prowling to show you just how weak and unworthy of the cause you are.

I’ve dealt with family members who don’t see eye to eye with my views on interracial dating or marriage. I’ve had someone who went to school with my husband incorrectly assume I’d be offended if I had a biracial grandchild one day. These were handled, hopefully, appropriately when I carefully stated I did not agree with their opinions. But recently, I was confronted not once, but twice with an uncomfortable situation with an elder.

And now, I’m feeling like I didn’t handle it correctly. That I let God and the people of color in my life down. Let me explain.

I was at an event with many childhood friends, and a man I’ve known a long time proceeded to tell a racist joke. My back was turned away from him at the time. He wasn’t close by but made an effort to tell the awful joke loudly so all could hear it. I froze, not knowing what to do. I decided to pretend I didn’t hear him, to ignore him. Maybe that way he’d leave having gotten no reaction from his audience. And no one, to my knowledge because I had my back to them, did indulge him. I didn’t hear laughing or comments. And honestly, it happened so fast, I thought: Okay, I reacted somewhat appropriately to that despicable joke which completely disgusted everything inside of me.

But then, hours later, he drew near once more and told another racist joke. A different one, like he had plenty to choose from, all stored away in his mind to pull forth when he wanted. I was facing my friend and, again, not him at the time. Both our eyes went wide. Our expressions turned angry and red as we, through the eye stare only close friends can have, silently asked each other, “What do we do?” I steeled my body against the rage. We rolled our eyes and made extra effort not to allow any movement or sound escape. We silently told one another not to let him even think he got a laugh out of us. 

But I didn’t say anything. Didn’t call him out for this repulsive humor. Didn’t stand and leave the area with a snarl he could see. Didn’t make sure, absolutely sure, he knew I didn’t think his jokes—or rather insults—were funny, that they in fact not only offended people I love but offended me as well by him thinking he could tell them in my presence.

And see, this man is a devoted church member. He’s raised a daughter with a beautiful heart and love for God. He prayed over the microphone for our dinner. He openly talks about Jesus, His Savior, which makes this situation so hard.

But, in prayer, I realized that I witnessed a blind spot in this man’s soul exposing itself. We all have them—blind spots. They’re a deception placed on us by the enemy. A part of our self that needs work, but a part that the devil has covered up carefully so that we don’t even notice it’s causing problems in our journey with Jesus.

My battle is not with this man, but with the enemy, so I must pray his blind spot is revealed to him (as I pray mine are to me as well). And I must ask God for forgiveness over my failure, and that He, in His glorious mercy, will give me opportunities to redeem myself.

I want to be respectful to my brothers and sisters in Christ, but I also want to stand up for my brothers and sisters in Christ. And as I’ve dwelled and prayed over this, recalling those few seconds after he concluded the joke, the conviction in my heart tells me I should have done more. This person told two racist jokes in my presence, and, elder or not, I should’ve reacted better and differently, defending openly my beloved people of color. I should’ve fought for them and the heartache his flippant words caused.

Will you, person of color, also forgive me, please? I am sorry I failed you. Will you also pray for me? Pray I have the courage and wisdom to combat respectfully anyone who may be in a position of authority, whether officially or superficially, over me when needed? Pray I’m able to stand up for justice, love, and my fellow Christian brothers and sisters without faltering?

I can do better. More. I will. For you. For my children. For my grandchildren.

And for yours.

~*~

Author Bio:

Kristen's passionate about storytelling and helping people take their next steps in their relationship with Jesus. 

She lives forty-five minutes outside of Atlanta, GA. where she served as a Children's Ministry Director for many years. With the support of her husband and two children, she now stays home writing fiction and non-fiction.

She also serves on the women’s leadership team at her local church and writes for Crosswalk and Wholly Loved Ministries. You can check out her articles and novels at www.kristenterrette.com.

~*~
Connect with Kristen:
Website - www.kristenterrette.com
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/authorkristenterrette/
Twitter - https://twitter.com/KTerrette
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kterrette/
Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/16252020.Kristen_Terrette
BookBub - https://www.bookbub.com/profile/kristen-terrette
Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/kterrette2/

Sharing Our Stories: Reconciling Sins

Reconciling the Sins of Our Ancestors
A guest post by Marie W. Watts

I, like many Caucasian Americans, have ancestors who were slaveholders. Case in point is documentation I have uncovered about my ancestor Francis Dorsett (my great-great-great-great-great grandfather) and his son John Dorsett (my direct descendent).

Francis was born in England in 1740 and migrated to the United States. The family settled in Chatham County, North Carolina. (West of Raleigh). Francis served in the Revolutionary War by furnishing supplies. Upon his death in 1813, he owned 277 acres of land. A complete inventory of possessions is fascinating and includes the following:

• a hymn book and Bible, although he was illiterate, 
• one looking glass, 
• one wagon, 
• blacksmith tools, 
• Livestock: seventeen hogs, three horses, two cattle, four sheep, 
• Kitchenware: two kettles, two pots, one skillet, one tea kettle, one set of teaware (sic), and One Negro Woman, Mime. (Note: Mime was left to Francis’s wife, Rebecca, in his will.

Rebecca was fortunate as he left her one-third of his property until her death. Then, the lands went to his sons. The custom was, at the time, to leave daughters nothing. However, he did leave Mime’s future firstborn child to his daughter as well as Mime, herself, upon Rebecca’s demise.

Slavery is abhorrent to me, and I am not personally responsible for it. Unfortunately, the remnants of slavery—racism—are woven into the fabric of our social and economic systems, leaving persons of color at a disadvantage. This impediment is not in keeping with the Christian tradition of loving your neighbor as yourself.

The question then becomes, are we responsible for the sins of our ancestors?

Dr. Michael Rhodes, in the article “Should We Repent of Our Grandparents’ Racism? Scripture on Intergenerational Sin”, suggests a closer look at Leviticus 26:40–44 for guidance. He states:

"…one reason the present generation needs to repent of the sins of their forebears is that sin causes a rupture that must be repaired. What’s required is not just that the present generation confess their sins and the sins of their ancestors, but also that they “make amends (yirṣû) for their iniquity” (26:41b, 43). If the damage one generation does is not fixed in their own day, that damage does not simply disappear at their death. The wrong must be righted, and the job may well fall on their descendants."

The healing process begins by naming our intergenerational sins and realizing how we, personally, have benefitted from them. For instance, depriving persons of color economically through the lack of good jobs, bank loans, and full participation in the American dream has left the rest of us in a better financial situation.

The second step is to actually make a change, starting within ourselves. Are we perpetuating stereotypes? Do we walk the talk of Christianity?

Until our hearts are clear, we cannot begin to take action in the community to undo the effects of racism. Once self-healing has occurred, we can take action by supporting efforts to create a racially just society. 

~*~
Author Bio:

Marie W. Watts is a former employment discrimination investigator and human resource consultant with over twenty-five years of experience. In pursuit of justice in the workplace, she’s been from jails to corporate boardrooms seeing the good, the bad, and the ugly of humans at work.

Her on-the-job observations came in handy when she co-authored a textbook about how to behave at work, Human Relations 4th ed. Additionally, her work has been published in the Texas Bar Journal and the Houston Business Journal as well as featured on Issues Today syndicated to 119 radio stations, NBC San Antonio, Texas, and TAMU-TV in College Station, Texas.

A popular diversity and employment discrimination trainer, Marie has trained thousands of employees to recognize their own biases and prejudices and avoid discriminating against others in the workplace. She has brought her experiences to life in the trilogy Warriors For Equal Rights about the struggles of ordinary people who work at the little-known federal agency, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC).

She and her husband live on a ranch in central Texas. In her spare time, she supports a historic house and hangs out with her grandsons. For more information about Marie and her stories about life, visit www.mariewatts.com.

~*~
Connect with Marie:
BookBub - https://www.bookbub.com/profile/marie-w-watts
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/mariewattsbooks
Twitter - https://twitter.com/MarieWattsBooks
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mariewattswriter/
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/marie-w-watts-5b2a2b/

Sharing Our Stories: A Call to Repentance

Shared Responsibility and Repentance
A devotional by Stephanie Bankhead

“I prayed to the LORD my God and made confession, saying, “O Lord, the great and awesome God, who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, we have sinned and done wrong and acted wickedly and rebelled, turning aside from your commandments and rules.” 

– Daniel 9:4-5 (ESV)

My ancestors emigrated from Italy to the United States. I am a fourth generation American on both sides of my family. They earned a living farming in northeastern Colorado. 

My ancestors knew what it was like to be the brunt of prejudice. In the early 1900’s it was not unusual for Italians to hear mocking ethnic slurs like "wop" and "dago." To my knowledge, we never owned slaves.

Blindly, I believed that I had nothing to apologize for relating to racial tension. My relatives didn't take part in the Atlantic slave trade nor the owning of slaves. Why should I apologize? 

Recently I was reading the book of Deuteronomy. In chapter 31, Moses is telling the people that he knows how rebellious and stubborn they are. Reading that my thoughts jump to, “Hey that's not fair! It was their ancestors who did those things, not this group of people. All those complainers from the exodus are all dead, this is a brand new generation.”

That was the beginning of the collapse of my alleged innocence. Pouring through the Scriptures, it became obvious that God demands we take responsibility for national sin. There are many examples of similar situations like we read in the Bible books of Daniel and Deuteronomy.

We in America have sinned. We have not acknowledged nor admitted that we have and continue to place people in positions of status and importance. And as long as we are the ones on the winning end of the balance, we refuse to see the sin. As Christians, how can we read Paul's letter to the Galatian Church and allow this sin to continue?

God’s Word (The Holy Bible) says in Galatians 3:28 (ESV),“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

God's Word ushers in conviction and I know in my heart this is true. So what is my next right move? Where can I start?

I'm perusing books, watching movies, reading novels about and by the Black community to gain their perspective. I want to understand. And I desire the dismantling of the heinous crime of oppression.

I also apologize to my dear friend, a woman of color, for the struggles that she and her ancestors and her children have had to navigate. Admitting that I have disregarded the white privilege that epitomizes my life. Offering my time weekly to listen and gain an understanding of her life as a Black woman. My plan is to do more of this, to increase our meeting to add more people. It is my belief that as we get to know each other’s stories, our empathy and love toward one another will grow.

Now, like Daniel, my heart asks of the Lord forgiveness for our nation's sin of oppression. I include myself. We have plundered our brothers and sisters of color. We categorize people by social status and power. We are not at all living Paul's admonition in Galatians 3:28.

Imagine a world where all God's children were flourishing. No oppression. No hatred. No privilege for one people to the detriment of another. We can have hope for that world. God wants us to see with our eyes. We must look into the eyes of Black people and see the pain of their ancestors residing in their souls. 

God wants us to understand with our hearts that He loves all people. He created everyone in His own image (Genesis 1:26-27) God wants us to turn, repent from our previous sin of oppression and hatred. And He will heal us. (Isaiah 6:10; John 12:40)

Let’s pray: O Lord, the great and awesome God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, we have sinned and done wrong and acted wickedly and rebelled, turning aside from your commandments and rules. Heal our nation. In Jesus’s Name we pray, Amen!

~*~
Author Bio:

Stephanie Bankhead is a Bible teacher, mentor and author of several Bible studies. 

Stephanie has worked at a local church as the Women’s Ministry Leader since 2013. In 2018 she became an ordained Teaching Pastor. Before that, she worked as the director of a very successful youth volleyball club. 

What both of these experiences taught her is that women are still little girls inside. Deep down we are all still asking the same questions, “Am I capable? Am I attractive? Am I enough?”

Stephanie delivers sermons and speaks at women’s events on a multitude of topics. Her favorite topic is teaching people what the Bible says about their own identity in God.

Stephanie lives in Amarillo, Texas with her husband of 32 years. They have a rescue pup who barks too much, and a bird abandoned when her two grown children flew the nest. Her four grandchildren are the apples of her eye.

Sharing Our Stories: Introducing Stephanie Bankhead, one of the backup writers!

Introducing Stephanie Bankhead, in her words:

“Then God said, “Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness...” So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” 

–Genesis 1:26–27 (NRSV)

We (humankind) are created in the image of God. 

What does that mean in our everyday lives and do we all consider this truthful? How do we walk this out? The Word of God has proven over the years to be absolute truth to me. It is my firm belief that every person walking on this planet God shaped in His own image. Because of that, there is a dignity endowed every person.

It is not enough to know about the oppression and atrocities waged against Black people. We all need to jump into the journey with them. We need to repent of the sins of our ancestors, the white Europeans. Let's come beside them and lament on their behalf.

A few years ago I would have told you that my ancestors were from Italy. We had nothing to do with the slave trade or mistreatment of Black people. The funny thing is, every time I read the Bible, it ends up "reading me." At the end of Deuteronomy, before Moses died, he admonishes the people for the sin they committed against God upon leaving Egypt. The specific sins he refers to are actually sins their parents committed. He was holding them accountable for the sins of their ancestors. This is not an isolated incident in Scripture. Both in Ezra and Daniel, the prophets offer a prayer of repentance for the sins of the people. Sins that they did not commit.

I'm taking their lead. While meeting weekly with my friend, Andrea, I am repenting of the sins of my European fathers. We are having the hard conversations. She is sharing from her experience as a Black woman in America. And I am sharing from mine as a White European woman. We are dreaming for a better, more fair future for her children and grandchildren.

My hope is that through my experience and recent revelation other White sisters wake up to the injustice that is going on under our noses. Relationships are key to healing. When you know a person’s story, empathy can happen. Our plan is to invite others into our small group to continue the hard conversations. Our goal is to forge relationships that bring about the love of God into this world in a bigger way.

Wouldn't it be amazing for our story to inspire others to begin small group relationships with a diverse group of people and for this Christ-like love to spread like wildfire? We have adopted the motto, "Who is your one today?" The plan is to influence and love one person each day. And to invite them into this journey of change. 

So, who is YOUR one today? It all starts with only one.

~*~
Author Bio:

Stephanie Bankhead is a Bible teacher, mentor and author of several Bible studies. 

Stephanie has worked at a local church as the Women’s Ministry Leader since 2013. In 2018 she became an ordained teaching Pastor. Before that, she worked as the director of a very successful youth volleyball club. What both of these experiences taught her is that women are still little girls inside. Deep down we are all still asking the same questions, “Am I capable? Am I attractive? Am I enough?”

Stephanie delivers sermons and speaks at women’s events on a multitude of topics. Her favorite topic is teaching people what the Bible says about their own identity in God. 

Stephanie lives in Amarillo, Texas with her husband of 32 years. They have a rescue pup who barks too much, and a bird abandoned when her two grown children flew the nest. Her four grandchildren are the apples of her eye.