Showing posts with label bias. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bias. Show all posts

Sunday, January 17, 2021

Sharing Our Stories: The power of telling your story to the world


Tell Me Your Story
A guest post by Roseanna M. White

In the tumultuous spring of 2020, when the world was shut down with COVID and there was rioting in the streets and Black Lives Matter (BLM) protests all across America, I was sitting at my computer with edits for a book called Dreams of Savannah

I had to turn these edits back in to my publisher soon…and I was scared. Because this story, as you might be able to guess, was set in Savannah, Georgia. The heart of the South. During the Civil War. With a heroine who was from a slave-holding family. Yes, there were themes of racial reconciliation in the book already…but were they strong enough? Had I handled them well? Would I be able to adequately share my heart through this story? Was my heart where God needed it to be?

In the tumultuous spring of 2020, my family did a lot of soul-searching. We did a lot of talking about what was going on around us and why. We did a lot of evaluating of our own biases, prejudices, passions, and actions. And we changed. We changed some of our opinions, previously never thought about too deeply. We changed our conversations with others. We changed our approach to a lot of things.

And I worked on this story. In it, my heroine has to do what we did—reevaluate what she thought she knew. She has to learn to see the people around her as people. To love them not for the roles they played in her life, but to see them as worthy of stories of their own. And that was the crux of the matter for my characters, who always wanted to be a heroine in one of her beloved tales. She had to realize that she gets to write her own story—she has to make choices that will let her live the story she wants to tell. And she has to see the stories of those around her to recognize that the same is true of them. Because while she’s so focused on being her own heroine, what if she ends up a villain in their story?

As I wrote this character who learned to see the stories of those around her, I realized that it was a real passion of mine too. I’ve always believed that stories are powerful things—that stories touch our hearts and minds and souls in ways that simple facts don’t. But before, I always focused on how fiction does that. I began to realize the same power is held by any story—any sharing of experience and insight. Through stories, we can come to know each other. Understand each other. Love each other.

I want to know your story. I want to know what makes you tick, what factors into your reasoning. I want to see your experiences through your eyes to help me open my own wider to the life you live. I want to understand the trials of the immigrant; the burden of the person of color; the fears of the marginalized. I want to know you, so I can love you like the Father loves you.

It was driving home from church one day just a couple months ago that this desire, and our continued talk of racial reconciliation, and the final edits on Dreams of Savannah, all coalesced in my mind. I looked over at my husband and said, “We need to collect people’s stories. And create a site where they can share them. Where anyone can.”

And so we did. We created a site called SeeingtheStory.com that is a place for story-seekers, story-tellers, and story-collectors to gather. To share, to read, to watch, to listen. To get to know people who are nothing like them…yet just like them. To learn what it is to walk in each other’s shoes. To love each other.

If you’re reading this post on this blog, then chances are you have a flame in your heart for understanding others and loving them. You want to learn better how to do that. So I’d love to invite you to come take a peek at Seeing the Story

Read some of the stories up already—it’s just launched as of when I’m writing this, so there aren’t many yet. But you can help with that. We’d love it if you would share your story. Maybe the one about how your family came to live where they have. Maybe a story of hardship overcome or joy found where you least expected it. Maybe the story of what set your feet on this path toward racial reconciliation, or one you’ve lived out while traveling it.

Stories really do change the world—because they change the hearts of the people who fill it. And we get to choose what story we live, what story we tell.

I’d love to hear yours.

~*~
Author Bio:
Roseanna M. White is a bestselling, Christy Award nominated author who has long claimed that words are the air she breathes.

When not writing fiction, she’s homeschooling her two kids, editing for WhiteFire Publishing, designing book covers, and pretending her house will clean itself.

Roseanna is the author of a slew of historical novels that span several continents and thousands of years. Spies and war and mayhem always seem to find their way into her books … to offset her real life, which is blessedly ordinary. 

Saturday, September 26, 2020

Sharing Our Stories: Self-control


Striving for Self-Control
A guest post by Marie W. Watts


“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
– 2 Timothy 1:7 ESV

While it sounds simple to deal with others who are different from us in the manner God intended, I continually struggle with this concept.

In the 1990s, while working for the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), I had my first contact with a Nigerian. Before this meeting, my slate was clear. I had no opinions—good or bad—about individuals from that country.

Working on his failure to hire complaints was a disaster. He became angry with me because I was not able to prove discrimination. To me, he was rude and sexist.

Sometime later, a friend and I were working on a management training class for a nonprofit. I began to complain about Nigerians, and he said, “Nigerians? Nigerians. I’ve been to their country. They are warm, wonderful people.”

Then it hit me—I was stereotyping! I took everything negative about one individual and piled it on to all who were similar to him. And my job at the EEOC was to stop others from doing the same thing.

Why is it so easy to stereotype even when we intellectually know better and are striving to follow God’s command to love others?

Our brain has a built-in function that allows us to generalize. For instance, this ability is helpful when dealing with a pot of boiling water. Once we learn that we can be burned by the boiling water, we do not have to relearn this fact every time we see a bubbling pot. Just imagine how stressful life would be without our capability to generalize.

We can trip up, however, when dealing with people. Stereotyping keeps us from seeing the individual and all his/her potential. We often handicap that person with stereotypes, never bothering to look further.

Fast forward to the 2000s. The day the AT&T store opened in La Grange, Texas, I was one of the first customers through the door. I was determined to learn all I could about the Galaxy before making the switch from my iPhone.

As I stepped inside, a man I took to be in his 70s approached me with the familiar question, “May I help you?”

My brain began yelling, “Go away, I don’t want to talk to you. You don’t know anything about smartphones! You’re too old.” I caught myself, thank goodness, and realized I was stereotyping.

Turns out, the man who approached me was an AT&T executive in town for the grand opening. He quickly turned me over to a younger individual who came from an out-of-town store to help for the day. I bought the Galaxy and spent some time exploring the features.

Several weeks later, I went back to the store to ask questions. The out-of-towners were gone, and the regular staff (Millennials and Gen-Xs) were there. I found out I knew more about the Galaxy than they did. (By the way, I am in my 60s.) Go figure.

The bottom line:
In order to deal lovingly with others, we must continually monitor our tendency to lose self-control.

So, the next time you interact with someone different and began to experience negativity, stop and do a gut check. Has this individual actually done anything to elicit that emotion? Or, is stereotyping controlling your reaction? Only then can you make a conscious choice to act lovingly.

~*~
Author Bio:

Marie W. Watts is a former employment discrimination investigator and human resource consultant with over twenty-five years of experience. In pursuit of justice in the workplace, she’s been from jails to corporate boardrooms seeing the good, the bad, and the ugly of humans at work. 

Her on-the-job observations came in handy when she co-authored a textbook about how to behave at work, Human Relations 4th ed. Additionally, her work has been published in the Texas Bar Journal and the Houston Business Journal as well as featured on Issues Today syndicated to 119 radio stations, NBC San Antonio, Texas, and TAMU-TV in College Station, Texas.

A popular diversity and employment discrimination trainer, Marie has trained thousands of employees to recognize their own biases and prejudices and avoid discriminating against others in the workplace. She has brought her experiences to life in the trilogy Warriors For Equal Rights about the struggles of ordinary people who work at the little-known federal agency, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC).

She and her husband live on a ranch in central Texas. In her spare time, she supports a historic house and hangs out with her grandsons. For more information about Marie and her stories about life, visit www.mariewatts.com.

~*~
Connect with Marie:
Bookbub - https://www.bookbub.com/profile/marie-w-watts
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/mariewattsbooks
Twitter - https://twitter.com/MarieWattsBooks
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mariewattswriter/
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/marie-w-watts-5b2a2b/